Anyway, it made me wonder what would happen if clergy took a Belichickian approach to coffee hour. Here's what I came up with using (more or less) actual Bill Belichick press conference answers:
Q: What happened with the acolytes at the gospel procession? Are you actively recruiting new ones?
A: I'm only talking about the personnel we have. Anything else is speculation
Q: The readings appointed for today seemed to give you some trouble. Are you looking forward to next week's lessons?
A: I don't decide what the readings are. I'm not going to comment on something I don't have control over.
Q: Are you disappointed by the lack of munchkins at coffee hour?
A: Are munchkins mentioned in the Bible?
Q: Is the vestry excited about the new adult education program?
A: You'd have to ask them about that.
Q: The new Sunday School curriculum looks really engaging. Are you excited about it?
A: We'll see how it goes.
Q: Did you know there are weeds growing in the church yard?
A: I'm responsible for every aspect of church life.
Q: Do you really think adding another service on Sunday morning is going to work?
A: We just try to do what's in the best interest of the parish.
Q: Did you notice attendance is down this year?
A: It is what it is.
Okay, back to post-church football watching. Love this time of year!