e-Formation -- It's not just a fad

Finally, a conference that recognizes the impact of technology and modern life on Christian formation! Or, as they put it in their tagline, "Faith formation for a connected, digital world." 

Next week I'll be at Virginia Theological Seminary for a couple of days to present a couple of workshops and sit in on some others at the e-Formation Conference. 

So much of this is rapidly evolving and while I'm a so-called "expert" we're all learning together to embrace the changing realities of the digital world and translate that into effective, vibrant ministry in our own parishes. 

There are a number of luminaries presenting at the conference including...well, you can read them on the graphic.

My two workshops are on Stealth Christian Formation and blogging -- two areas where I actually do have some experience. 

Stealth Christian Formation 
Was your recent 27-part series on Deuteronomic Law poorly attended? Do you wish more people took advantage of education opportunities at your parish? You can keep teaching to the choir but how do we reach the people who don’t “do” classes? Come learn how Lent Madness brought Lenten discipline, knowledge of the saints, and spiritual growth to the masses and how this model can work for you.

I Blog, Therefore I Am
Whether you have a blog no one reads besides your mother or are considering starting one, this workshop is for you. We’ll explore questions such as: Why blog? What should I blog about? How often should I blog? How can I get people to actually read my blog? You, too, can impress your friends with the moniker “blogger” while sharing the Good News with a global audience.

The good news (lowercase) is that if you didn't sign up to attend, you can still participate via webinar for the bottom basement price of $75. Click here for details.

Perhaps the best part of participating in my workshops is that turn around's fair play. You can live-snark  all you want on Twitter and I won't be able to respond in real time since, um, I'll be busy. The hashtag for the conference, by the way, is #eForm14. Hope to see you there either in real life or online!

The Flanders Phenomenon

The church has a problem. Some call it the Culture of Nice. I call it the Flanders Phenomenon.

You know Ned Flanders, right? He's the uber religious next door neighbor on The Simpsons. The earnest, Biblical literalist who uses such saccharine catch phrases as "Hey-diddly-ho!" and "okilly-dokkily!" The exceedingly nice pushover whose unfailing good mood can't be disturbed even by Homer Simpson's most egregious un-neighborly shenanigans.

Yes, Ned Flanders is an animated caricature. But he's also precisely what's slowly killing the church. He embodies the Culture of Nice that has become the hallmark of many Christian communities. We live in such fear of offending that we bend over backwards to the point of losing our spine.

Jesus wasn't Ned Flanders nice. He boldly called out religious hypocrisy and publicly shamed the self-satisfied for not helping those in need. Despite all the images of Jesus hugging sheep on dinner plates produced by the Franklin Mint, he wasn't all about being warm, fuzzy, and timid. You don't start
a revolution by being meek and mild.

Flipping Tables at the Temple

Take the classic example of Jesus' interaction with the money changers at the Temple. The whole set-up was a convenient win-win for both travelers and those looking to profit from the system of sacrifice. But Jesus was not in the mood to “play nice” when he showed up that day. And if you asked one of those money changers who just had his table flipped over about Jesus, I guarantee the word “nice” would not cross his lips.

But, still, this incident is in precise keeping with who Jesus is and what he preached. Jesus didn’t just snap – he’s not an out-of-control hothead -- but he was angry. And he was angry because relationship with God was being sacrificed to the idol of worldly affairs. He wasn't angry at the people themselves but at their blindness and hardness of heart. 

Yet through this very anger, Jesus was preaching the Gospel of love. And by flipping over some tables and raising his voice, Jesus shows us that it is acceptable to stand up publicly for truth and justice; to call people out when they aren't behaving appropriately. Not out of uncontrollable rage but out of deep conviction -- even if it’s not particularly nice.

So we see that Jesus was not Ned Flanders nice but passionate about breaking open the Kingdom of God on earth. Which sometimes meant trampling upon the culturally accepted superficialities of niceness.

Destroying the False Idol of Nice

The church will not thrive unless we give up the false idol of nice. But how? Here are a few suggestions:

• Calling out parish bullies who hijack the church's mission through attention-getting measures.
• Cutting through the usual banal coffee hour conversation to find out how it really goes with one another's souls. 
• Not avoiding conflict but leaning into it and dealing with it before it festers.
• Creating a culture where, yes, people are nice to one another but not at the expense of boldly proclaiming the gospel.
• Forming leaders who are passionate about their faith and authentic in the ways they communicate it.
• Reaching back into our tradition rather than going outside of it to engage innovation and change.
• Being willing to skewer sacred cows if they're not consistent with the church's broader mission.

One reason the church isn't popular with young adults -- millennials -- is their highly attuned BS detector. There's nothing authentic about relationships where every one is continually, if metaphorically, saying "after you" to everyone they encounter. Real relationships are messy and the incarnate God in Christ knows this. After all, he wasn't born in a fancy palace or a sterile delivery room but in a stable and laid in a manger -- which is simply a poetic synonym for "feeding trough."

The sooner we leave the Flanders Phenomenon behind, the sooner we can get back to the real business of spreading the gospel of Christ with passion and conviction. And that's something that really would be "nice."

Please don't thank me on Memorial Day

Yes, I'm a veteran of the United States Army. No, I never saw combat. But please don't thank me on Memorial Day.

There seems to be a growing, well-intentioned attempt to conflate Memorial Day and Veterans Day. Memorial Day is just that -- a day to remember, or memorialize, those who have died in the service of our country. Veterans Day is a day to honor and thank all who have served, or are currently serving, in the armed forces.

Despite the Memorial Day sales "events" and its status as the unofficial start to summer, Memorial Day is a solemn occasion. Yes, it's a bit incongruous -- like having an All Souls' Day sale at the mall. And I'm not suggesting we all put on sackcloth and ashes and forego the neighbor's barbecue on "moral grounds." But it is important to take a moment to remember those who have died serving in the military. It could be a minute of silent prayer or attending the local parade or visiting a cemetery.

This day should also transcend politics. Whether or not you agree with the military actions taken by our leaders over the years, some of our brothers and sisters have sacrificed their lives for our freedom. And that is well worth remembering, along with the pain and anguish of loved ones left behind.

So please don't thank me for my service today or give me 10% off a donut. This day is about those who are not able to be thanked, but only prayed for.

I'm not sure who wrote the following Prayer for Memorial Day but I think it captures the essence of what the day should be about for people of faith.

Blessings to you all this Memorial Day and may the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace and rise in Glory.

Tim+

Prayer for Memorial Day

God of love and justice, it is your will that we live together in peace. Yet we live in a world in which war often seems inevitable. May we recognize with humility and sadness the tragic loss of life that comes in war. And as we enjoy freedom, we give thanks for those who have served with courage and honor; for those who resist evil and preserve justice.

We give thanks for those that are willing to serve. Let all soldiers everywhere serve with honor, pride, and compassion. Do not let their hearts be hardened by the actions they must take. Strengthen their families and keep them surrounded and guided by your love. We thank you for those that put the welfare of others ahead of their own safety. Let us all be inspired by their self-sacrifice in service to those who need protection.

We give thanks for those that have made the ultimate sacrifice. We ask that you be with those in pain

from their loss and keep us mindful that you have promised to comfort those that mourn and help us to be a comfort to them as well.

And by your grace, may we have the strength and courage to truly honor those who have served by working for peace. May we see in them not only their courage, but also our own call to work for a world that no longer sacrifices life in the quest for peace; that we might envision in our hearts and work in our lives toward that which you have promised through the prophet Isaiah: that day when swords will be beaten into ploughshares and spears into pruning hooks, that day when nation shall not rise up against nation, and that day when we shall not learn war any more. Amen.

(Really) Odd Caskets

I'm finishing up my death and dying trifecta with a look at strange coffins. Yesterday it was intriguing trends in cremation practices followed by bizarre urns. I promised the odd urns would be my last foray into this topic. I lied. So kill me -- you have plenty of burial options to choose from here.

Here's a casket for the person whose dying request is "one last cigarette." It may also be for the tobacco company executive who has died of lung cancer but always insisted that cigarettes were basically a health food.

Why go with a boring wood casket when you can have one covered with your favorite photos? Sure, if you have a church burial it will be covered with a funeral pall and it would be a total waste of money but even if you die, Photoshop lives!

Here's a coffin proffering a vaguely theological statement. It fits in nicely with all of those "she has been called home" cliches that people bandy about during wakes. Plus, if you send it registered mail you have a good chance of getting Jesus' autograph which would go for a considerable sum on eBay.

Roll Tide! Now you don't have to be just a life-long fan you can be an eternal life-long fan. And to think, the money you spend on this coffin could have been wasted by donating it to the university's  scholarship fund. (This is also known as the Rev. Laurie Brock Memorial Casket).

If you're a practical joker who likes to creep out your loved ones, this is perfect. Also if you die on either Halloween or April Fools Day, this is the casket for you.

For the skiers among us -- and here in New England there are a LOT of them -- this makes great sense. Of course if you rent your skis, this might prove problematic for your family members who will inherit significantly less money given the cost of ski equipment.

If I had a hammer? Pete Seeger would be proud. Or Bob Villa. Or Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. Imagine what this beauty would do to your thumb? Or maybe it's just a nod to all your friends who will get hammered at the reception.

After a lifetime of misery as a Cubs fan why not spend eternity in misery? This is perfect for multiple burials as you channel the words of Cubs Hall of Famer Ernie Banks by crying, "Let's bury two!" (This is also known as the Rev. David Sibley Memorial Casket)

For the gamers among you this is your chance to kill one more zombie. True confession: I thought this was a Star Wars character but my 13-year-old told me it was Master Chief from the game HALO. Also, I don't know if there are zombies in that game.

For the hot rod enthusiast or anyone who just wants to speed past purgatory (just kidding, we don't believe in that), this race casket is right up your alley. And, no, it does not come with an optional sun roof.

If spending eternity with cheap beer is your idea of heaven, this beauty will do the trick. Creepy drunk guy not included.

Do you have a problem disconnecting from your iPhone? This coffin offers the perfect solution. I'm not sure what you do when you're due for an upgrade. (This is also known as the Rev. Scott Gunn Memorial Casket).

This "double wide" casket is for those who drank too much of that cheap beer while still above ground (see the PBR casket above). It measures four feet by eight feet in case you were wondering.

Did your mother always complain about your posture and tell you to "sit up straight?" You'll never have to hear those words again with this one. Yes, it looks horribly uncomfortable, even for someone who's dead.

As for me? I just want a simple marble sarcophagus placed in the side chapel of a fancy cathedral in Europe.

(Really) Odd Urns

As long as we're on the topic of cremation (well, I was in my recent post titled "Cremation Nation"), I thought I'd share some bizarre and/or creepy ways to keep your loved one around. No, I'm not judging the way people grieve but I am nonetheless astonished at the myriad ways in which people derive comfort.

After this, I promise I'll lay off the subject for awhile, especially in light of Memorial Day weekend. Which I hope you enjoy and remember those who have died in the service of our nation.

Here we go:

For a mere $399.99, you can place your loved one in the Forever Treasured Hourglass Urn. Who wouldn't want to play boggle or cook the perfect boiled egg with this treasure?

While at first glance you may think this is from one of those fake Saturday Night Live ads, there is actually a company in Vermont called Cremation Solutions that offers "Personal Urns" in the likeness of the deceased's head. The full size version is $2,600 but you can get a personal size for a mere $600. In my will I may insist not only on getting one (full sized, naturally) but on keeping it in the refrigerator so my ancestors can get their kicks telling guests to "Help yourself to a beer -- they're in the fridge."

There is also a product called Cremation Diamonds that allows specially trained gemologists to turn human remains into a diamond. What widower wouldn't want to propose to his next wife with a diamond made from his late wife's ashes? They range in price from $3,000 to $18,000 but if nothing else it will prove once and for all that every kiss does not begin with Kay. Unless, of course your deceased spouse's name was, in fact, Kay.

Do you want to "rock 'n roll all night and party every day" in the heavenly realm? Then the Kiss urn is for you. There's also a casket available but no word on whether the mortician must then do your makeup like Gene Simmons.

If you like to keep your deceased loved ones close at hand, there are several companies that produce "Huggable Urns" in the form of teddy bears. Squeeze your dead grandmother tight but, please, not too tight.

If you're counting down the hours until you too join the heavenly banquet, perhaps the time is right for you to purchase this Clock Urn. There's no time like the present and I even noted they're running a $289.95 Father's Day special.

Another intriguing way to remember a loved one is through Art in Ashes. You send in the ashes and they will send a painting back with the ashes embedded in the paint. Rumor has it this is how Picasso got his start.

Finally, here's an amazing product: Cremation Bullets. You can have your loved ones ashes made into live ammunition. After all, why should your loved one be the only one to die around here?

Cremation Nation

WARNING: If you're squeamish about the topic of cremation, kindly watch a cat video on YouTube rather than read this post. Seriously. 

Okay, now that we've weeded out the faint of heart, I want to talk about the popular topic of cremating loved ones. I should state for the record that I aspire to one day being cremated and ending up in a columbarium or memorial garden to be named later. Also, I aspire to become the oft-maligned "dead white male" but that's another issue.

Today I want to write about two things in particular -- one trend I'm not entirely comfortable with and one industry practice that surprised me.

Occasionally I'm asked to divide up ashes for family members. This isn't as macabre as it sounds, at least for someone who is used to dealing with death and dying. Ashes are typically delivered by the funeral home after they have received them from the crematorium. They arrive in a plastic bag inside either a cardboard or plastic box and are heavier than you might imagine -- ashes for the average adult weigh between five and nine pounds. 

Titian: Noli Me Tangere

At the last two parishes I've served there have been memorial gardens with direct internment of ashes into the earth. I love this because of the whole "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" imagery. The sexton digs a hole and at the committal service the ashes are poured directly into ground before being covered back up with dirt.

But back to the dividing of ashes. Like the fake word "cremains," I don't like it. I always do it, generally for pastoral reasons, but personally I know I'd like to be kept in one place when I'm a pile of ashes. It's not a theological issue -- God can sort out and reassemble ashes whenever the time comes. I'm not worried about that.

I do worry about the effect on the grieving process for family members who insist on taking some ashes for a locket or a bracelet or to place on the mantle. In John's gospel (20:17), after the resurrection Jesus says to Mary Magdalene as he departs, "Do not hold on to me." Or, in Latin, noli me tangere (literally "touch me not)." There's good reason for this not just because Jesus has elsewhere to go but because we need to let our loved ones go to their glory.

They live on in our hearts, our minds, our souls, our actions, and our lives but we have to free them for the journey home. It's difficult to do that when they're literally around your neck. Please, let them go.

I've been thinking about this because I recently found a bent screw in a pile of ashes. I thought that was bizarre since the deceased was not a robot. So I called the funeral director to ask him about it -- they don't do the cremations themselves since by state law they can't.

So he told me that when they do cremations they include the casket. I had no idea! Then they use powerful magnets to pick up any metal that might be mixed in. This particular screw slipped through. He also said they do the cremations with the caskets not just for "dignity" reasons but because without a casket in the mix there are a lot fewer ashes. This implies that without the casket human ashes alone would be too skimpy. Perhaps you knew all this. Again, I had no idea! And I'd also be fine with fewer ashes to bury.

So there are my cremation thoughts for the day. Enjoy the upcoming holiday weekend and try to stay on the earthly side of the grave over the next few days.

To Pew or Not to Pew?

Yesterday I posted a picture of the removal of pews at the Cathedral of St. Paul in Boston on Facebook and the response was...passionate. 

To some, keeping pews is akin to keeping the church as a vibrant place of divine encounter and mystery. To replace pews with chairs is not about liturgical renewal but embodies the worst of baby boomer, hippie, trying-to-be-relevant-but-missing-the-point, theology.

While others see pews as a physical barrier to eucharistic community and view removing them as a refreshing symbol of new life and hope for the church. Stripping away static church seating is a way to annihilate the "we've always done it that way" attitude of the church.

While I prefer more traditional liturgy and worship spaces (ie. with pews), I can see both sides of this. I've had powerful spiritual encounters through liturgy in grand cathedrals and small group, informal eucharists in the round. Indeed some of my most profound moments of divine connection happened in the seminary chapel at Seabury-Western where we sat in pews facing one another in the monastic tradition. I've held and attended memorable liturgies in a variety of outdoor settings -- "Mass on the Grass," on the beach, on mountaintops. And few things are more moving for a priest than bringing communion to a homebound parishioner or taking the sacrament to a hospital room.

In other words, the whole issue of seeking and finding God transcends furniture. It must always first be

about Jesus. Everything else in liturgy is secondary -- pews, vestments, incense, music. And yet sacred space is critical to our spiritual understanding of God. The incarnation, Jesus coming into the world in human form, is about God entering the world in specificity rather than the abstract. And how we pray says much about what we believe.

As liturgical people this is embodied through our houses of worship -- not that God is under house arrest but that there are particular places set aside as holy and sacred spaces in which we come to worship in community. 

It may be helpful to know something of the history of pews. Obviously Jesus, carpenter though he was, didn't construct a bunch of pews for the people to sit on before launching into the Sermon on the Mount. 

Brief History of Pews

Open air preaching was normative for Jesus as was teaching small groups in people's homes. In the early church house worship and fellowship were the means by which the Body of Christ gathered. Before Constantine legalized Christianity in the 4th century, there were no such things as public houses of worship. Thus no pews. 

The first public spaces designated for worship were modeled upon the Roman basilica where people stood and milled around. There was nary a seat to be found. In the 13th century backless benches were installed in some churches -- often made of stone. Pews as we know them didn't come on the scene until the 14th century but weren't popularized until the 15th century as the Reformation was heating up. 

As teaching was a major hallmark of this period and the sermon became central, pews allowed worshippers to sit for long periods of worship/edification while looking not at one another but at the preacher.

This led to the rise of pew rents where individuals or families owned their own pews and were responsible for their upkeep and maintenance. Pew rents were especially prevalent in the United States as there was no government support for churches, a practice continued in many parishes through the early to mid-20th century.

As a sign of privacy and a practical need to keep the heat  in, lockable box pews became common as

did numbered pews. This had the effect of benefitting the church financially while forcing those without means into the "bleachers" -- often the balcony.

So in the grand sweep of Christian history, pews are a relatively recent innovation. They offer a certain formality, dignity, and pageantry to liturgy that, for many, feed the soul. It's a truism that when it comes to liturgy, architecture always wins. Pews or not, as long as the liturgy is consistent with and authentic to the house of worship, it will be a prayerful experience. When these coalesce the result is heavenly. When they don't, when worship feels contrived or forced, the result is, um, in the other direction.

A Variety of Worship Styles

Here at St. John's in Hingham, we worship in a very long, narrow space. When the church was expanded in the late 1950's they couldn't build out the sides so it became the largest church I've ever seen without side aisles ("No figure eight processions for you!"). Brides love it for the long aisle but it can be challenging if you're looking for an intimate setting. Transcendent, yes, immanent not so much. 

When I added a Saturday 5:00 pm eucharist a few years ago we spent the first year wrestling with this very issue. In the end we moved the liturgy into the parish hall and, while we sometimes change things up, we generally worship with the chairs in a semi-circle around the eucharistic table. People like the service precisely because of its intimacy, informality, and contemporary feel. 

Neither style of worship is for everyone but there are many doors through which to experience the divine. As a Church, we do well to fling open as many as possible. 

The Three-Legged Stool of Newcomer Ministry

One of the most difficult things to do in life is to walk into a church for the very first time. To walk through the doors of an unknown congregation is like leaping out the door of an airplane. There's anxiety, fear, trepidation, and the hope that your parachute will actually open at the appropriate time. Okay, maybe not the parachute, but all the emotions certainly apply.

I'm not talking about clergy on vacation or regular church goers who know what to expect and how to act liturgically. I mean your average visitor tentatively walking into a church for the first time. They don't want to embarrass themselves by standing at the wrong time or making some other dreadful ecclesiastical faux pas like searching for hymn 378 in the Prayer Book instead of the Hymnal.

It's hard to seek a place to worship especially when you have no particular denominational affiliation and are simply looking for a nurturing, challenging, inspiring community of faith.

As we've recently revamped the organizational structure of our newcomer's ministry at St. John's, it occurred to me that our approach is best thought of as a three-legged stool. Not THE three-legged stool -- that remains the domain of the 16th century priest and theologian Richard Hooker's definition of Anglicanism as the joining of Scripture, Tradition, and Reason.

But the newcomer's three-legged stool is an important piece of furniture for church growth. Maybe we should think of it as the three-legged footstool. The legs are Welcoming, Events, and Incorporation. Many churches emphasize one leg over the other and we do this to our detriment. To be fully effective all three legs must be attended to with intentionality.

I thought I'd share a few thoughts on each area just to start some conversation either here or in your parishes.

Welcoming

This is the public face of the parish. It begins with the church website as nearly all first-time attendees check out a parish online before stepping through the doors. I like to call church websites 'virtual ushers' since 9 times out of 10 they are a visitor's first impression. Please, please, please don't have last year's Christmas services listed.

The welcoming continues in the parking lot -- is it easy to find the front door? Are there signs to help someone find it or is the point of entry a well-kept secret for those "in the know?" It's so important to see things through the eyes of a newcomer and it begins as they drive up to the church for the first time. I always suggest parishioners try to view their parish through fresh eyes on a regular basis or even invite some friends who don't attend the church to offer their impressions.

The next important piece is the first human contact. Is it the clergy standing outside welcoming people? A friendly or grumpy usher? A dedicated team of welcomers on the lookout for those looking confused or hesitant? We call ours St. John's Ambassadors and they wear name tags indicating this -- their sole function is to greet people and be attentive to folks who look confused or tentative.

The next scariest thing for a visitor -- besides walking in the front door -- is to attend coffee hour. It

brings up our basest feelings of social anxiety: Will anyone talk to me? Will I feel like a wallflower at a middle school dance? Not every visitor goes to coffee hour -- it's nice to actually invite someone especially if it's not intuitive where it's held -- and so this is a big, vulnerable step.

We have a staffed welcome table with a bright red table cloth set up in the front of the parish hall with visitor packets in red folders. We also have green mugs we invite visitors to use as a signal that they are new and would welcome others to approach them. I thought about getting a bunch of mugs with red targets on them but that seemed a bit much.

The reality is that everyone at coffee hour wants to connect with friends they haven't seen all week. It takes intentionality and congregational awareness to be a truly welcoming congregation. The overused phrase "All are Welcome" is false advertising unless it's backed up by action. It is so easy to fall into complacency when it comes to newcomers.

I think we do a good job of welcoming but just this past Sunday I noticed a single man standing by himself with a green mug. I went right up to him and then invited others to meet him but it's always a work in progress. It didn't help that our entire welcoming committee had just left for a meeting but still!

Events

Sunday morning welcoming is crucial but it's equally important to offer intergenerational newcomer events throughout the year. This allows folks new to the parish an opportunity to meet some veteran church goers, meet other newcomers, and have some more in-depth conversation than coffee hour usually allows.

Brunch right after church is always effective as is linking newcomer sessions to broader events. At St. John's, we have a big 4th of July parade that goes past the church -- Independence day is huge in Hinhgam. We use this as an opportunity to host a pre-parade gathering with food and drink before  people claim their spots on the church lawn to view the parade.

At some of our events we offer free childcare so parents of young children can actually have more than just a snippet of conversation. Once a year we host a brunch at the rectory, which is next door to the church, and others happen at the homes of nearby parishioners. Being in a home and not just in a parish hall helps put people at ease. And name tags are key.

Incorporation

So you've welcomed a new family, they've attended a newcomer's event, they've met a few people. Now what? For many parishes, the welcome ends here. Relative newcomers find themselves in a sort of no man's land of not being new anymore but not really feeling like full participants in the life of the community.

It's at this stage that many folks drift away and, frankly, no one really notices. A couple of months later you might hear someone say "Remember the Greens? Whatever happened to them? They seemed like such a nice family."

This is the trickiest part of the newcomer ministry and perhaps the most important. You can send out all

the e-mail you want and put announcements in the bulletin every Sunday but with rare exceptions people won't attend events or Bible studies or join committees unless they are specifically and personally invited to do so.

Newcomer incorporation is ultimately about discipleship. We are inviting people to go deeper and build relationships with God and one another through our specific community of faith. To ignore this critical piece of welcoming people into the life of the parish is fail to act in Jesus' name when he says "follow me." Newcomer incorporation is inviting people to follow him.

It takes intentionality and dedication on the part of clergy and lay leaders to track these folks (not in a stalking kind of way but in being aware of their desire for deeper connection and invitation). Linking people with others in their demographic or areas of interest is one way to do this.

Conclusion

When it comes to newcomer ministry, one size definitely does not fit all. Some people are taking that first tentative step toward their faith life and simply want to sit in the back row for several months. Others want to jump right in and join the altar guild. This must be a ministry of subtlety, awareness, and the ability to read both verbal and non-verbal cues. And it is a high calling, one of the most important ministries of parish ministry as we seek to welcome people in Jesus' name and draw them into discipleship.

So the three-legged stool of Welcoming, Events, and Incorporation all must work in concert for a parish to grow and thrive. It is a major responsibility of clergy and lay leaders to create a parish-wide environment of welcoming. Almost every congregation believes they are welcoming. But is it true? The proof resides in whether a significant percentage of interested visitors become engaged parishioners

How effective is your mix of welcoming, events, and incorporation? Are there ways in which your parish could shore up a particular area? What ideas or tactics have worked especially well in your context? I hope you'll share some things that have been effective in your own congregations.

Bad Pentecost Clip Art

As I was scouring the internet for a Pentecost icon for our parish newsletter, I discovered that this feast day offers the mother lode of horrendous images. Forget the 'eye of the beholder' -- there's some ugly stuff out there. When you combine tongues of fire, wind, a variety of languages, and a dove, I guess this isn't altogether surprising. But yowza!

I'm especially looking forward to this 50th day after Easter celebration since our beloved retiring bishop, Tom Shaw, will be making his last visitation to St. John's as diocesan bishop. In twelve years as a rector, I've never actually had a bishop show up on a major feast day. The Sunday after Easter, yes. Random Sunday in July, of course. So I'm thinking this will be a great day and not just because I get out of writing a sermon.

In any case, my Pentecost gift (June 8th this year) to you includes a few of my "favorites" from the online horror I encountered. (by the way, if you're looking to start a blog, I'd suggest Bad Church Clip Art -- it would go viral!)

This looks like the oil refineries in Elizabeth, New Jersey
that are visible off exit 13A of the Turnpike.

Can you say "Ad for Lasix surgery?"

"Again?" What, does Pentecost bore you?

Pentecost: As imagined by Jerry Garcia.

Angry Birds! 

There's a fine line between a flame and a dunce cap.

Pentecost is so amazing that the guy on the right did a face palm.

When it rains, God is crying. Or what are the Magi doing here?

On Pentecost, everyone gets electrocuted.

Ok, who's hungry? How about some grilled pigeon?

May Day! May Day! We're being dive bombed by a flaming bird!

This appears to be a scarecrow meant to keep that
pesky Holy Spirit from eating the corn stalks.

No.