Aug 14, 2013

Favorite Coffee Quotes

207610_352660811497121_123185066_nReaders of this blog know that it's fueled exclusively by coffee. I'm merely the conduit of the coffee. In other words, reading this blog is like drinking coffee.

I haven't been blogging much during my vacation this month because most of my creative energy (and coffee drinking) has been focused on putting together a book proposal. It's about time I wrote another one, don't you think? What Size Are God's Shoes was published in 2008 and while I have an Advent/Christmas mini-book coming out this fall (with reflection questions if you need an Advent program for your church -- or if you're desperate for last-minute Christmas gifts), it's time for something bigger.

We'll see. If nothing comes of it I can always drown my sorrows in coffee.

Anyway, with coffee on the brain I thought I’d take this opportunity to share some of my favorite coffee quotes with you. If you have others, by all means share them! Remember, it takes a village — preferably one on a small hill in Kenya that is known for its shade-grown coffee beans.

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?” Albert Camus

“Without my morning coffee I’m just like a dried up piece of roast goat.” Johann Sebastian Bach

“Last comes the beverage of the Orient shore, Mocha, far off, the fragrant berries bore. Taste the dark fluid with a dainty lip, digestion waits on pleasure as you sip.” Pope Leo XII (1760-1829)

“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’” Conan O’Brien

“As soon as coffee is in your stomach, there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move…similes arise, the paper is covered. Coffee is your ally and writing ceases to be a struggle.” Honore de Balzac

“Coffee is real good when you drink it it gives you time to think. It’s a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup.” Gertrude Stein

“The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.” Sir James Mackintosh

“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” Dave Barry

“Give a frontiersman coffee and tobacco, and he will endure any privation, suffer any hardship, but let him be without these two necessaries of the woods, and he becomes irresolute and murmuring.” Lt. William Whiting, US Army (1849)

“Black coffee must be strong and very hot; if strong coffee does not agree with you, do not drink black coffee. And if you do not drink black coffee, do not drink any coffee at all.” Andre Simon

“I hate decaffeinated coffee. It’s useless brown water.” David Letterman

“Why do our men trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick nasty bitter stinking, nauseous puddle water?” 1674 Women’s Petition Against Coffee

“Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love. That’s the recipe for coffee.” Talleyrand

“Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!” Robin Williams

“I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” Ronald Reagan

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no Equal:
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.
Author Unknown

On why good coffee should be served at church: “The church is God’s house not Maxwell’s House. Tim Schenck

And if that's not enough to keep you well-caffeinated? Check out this awesome video:


Sister Mary Winifred said...

"The journey of coffee: once a cheap drink of truckdrivers, now an aesthetic journey, a lifestyle experience. It's coffee. Would you want anything less?" Garrison Keillor

lafftur said...

This is wonderful. As someone who is extremely coffee-blind in the mornings (I have barely the awareness to actually MAKE that first pot), I appreciate all the wonderful quotes you have assembled. Now if only I can get the Folgers out of the social hall...

Cynthia Hallas said...

If it weren't for the S***bucks reference I'd think you were the psalmist.

Catherine said...

Wonderful..... We are coffee drinkers... Have gone to great lengths to get Newman's Nells Breakfast blend.... but since a recent 8 day hospital stay, Craig and I discovered Seattles Best, level 4... Love us some coffee... Now he's at a rehab center, and they have Maxwell House---Decaf.. Needless to say,I'm not drinking it. We're hoping to have him home soon...

We love following you and your archnemesis.....Love the Episcopal Church. Keep it up.. Catherine

Sent from my iPad

Father Tim said...

Thanks, Catherine. And if there was ever any motivation to "get well soon" Maxwell House decaf is it! Prayers for Craig.



aleathia (Dolores) nicholson said...

I only buy the New York Times at STARBUCKS, not their coffee, and really can't understand why any sane person with decent taste buds would even order, let alone drink, iced coffee with that pseudo cream and little squiggly designs that might as well be smoke signals for all I know. If you can't drink pure unadulterated black coffee, you should drink tea or colas or just get a glass of water. Jeez Louise! Respect your taste buds.

Jay Croft said...

Coffee? Pfui! English Breakfast tea for me, each morning!

My wife drinks coffee and I don't. So far, I've lived five years longer than her, and it's been that way ever since we were married 45 years ago.